Reciprocity

Everybody wants to be loved. I doubt there is a single human being on this planet that doesn't want to be accepted, understood and cared for. Some people may chase after money and things, but in the end, whether they are aware of it or not, they are seeking the love they think possessions will bring.

Yes, everybody wants to be loved...but I say that being loved is not what will make you happy.

It's loving, even when you're not loved in return.

Don't worry, I've got my reasons for saying this. The first, and most basic, is that it's always better to give than to receive. 

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek 

to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For, it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

-Peace Prayer of Saint Francis

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). Note that Jesus did not say "No one is loved greater than this, to have a friend lay down their life" even though it is logically reasonable. No, Jesus is not concerned with the measure that we are loved, but the measure with which we love. For "as you judge, you will be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you," (Matthew 7:2). Francis reflected that thought in the peace prayer above - it's better to love than to be loved. 

The second reason may be considered more pragmatic than spiritual. Simply put, by focusing more on love given than love received you place your dependence for happiness in yourself rather than others. If you are happy simply because you are loved, and you are no longer loved (or, more realistically, are no longer able to see that you are loved) then happiness becomes impossible. Rather, if your happiness is based in the love you give, it cannot be taken away by the failures of others. 

So, if you are unhappy because you feel like nobody cares, I want you to remember two things: 1) That is almost certainly not true - somebody cares about you (spoiler alert: I do) and 2) It is better to love than to be loved, so just keep going out there and loving as much as you can. Then, the "measure with which you measure" (love) will be measured out to you. 

Being loved is meaningless without an outpouring on your part of agape. Open your heart to love, and you will see how much is really around you. 

So, are you upset because you don't know where you fit in? Sad because somebody who claimed to be your "best friend" just left? Hurt because you feel like an outsider to your friend group? Jealous of the best friendships and relationships of those around you with nothing similar of your own? Keep on loving anyway. 

Oh, and look at this picture of a kitty cat. It'll make you feel better.