Adoring and Remembering

Today is Monday. For the rest of you up here at SFU, that means simple adoration is going on for a good 8 1/2 hours. Like the good Catholic I am, I recently stopped in for my personal time with Jesus. There's something about simple adoration that sets it apart from a normal holy hour. Is it the freedom? The knowledge that I can stay as long or as little as I please? Maybe it's the intimacy - for the majority of my time in the chapel, I was alone with Jesus. Perhaps, today at least, that's a good thing.

I don't know why, but today was just one of those times.

As one of my mentors, Father Joe Freedy, puts it when he mentions going to simple adoration (usually as a part of his "conversion story"), his phrase of choice (accompanied by very large hand gestures) is "I was just BAWLING. Like, snot running down my face!"

Perhaps it was not to that degree for me, but I definitely had my moments.

I don't know what sparked it...well, okay maybe I do. I brought my Bible with me today. Not just any Bible, my Bible. Since I got it the first day of high school, it has seen me through everything from joyful retreats to "the depths" (Psalm 130). Through the years, it has been my go-to for any emotional situation. It has also become a repository of sorts for those occasional extraordinarily nice words from friends. Today, God used that to get to me.

The jury's still out on whether the whole "God, give me a sign!" thing is right, so I made my prayer a bit simpler. "God, say something to me. You have a message just for me in this book. Help me find it."

I had just picked it up to flip to some random page, when something fell out. It was a small piece of looseleaf, nicely folded, pressed between two of the pages. Gingerly I picked it up and unfolded it. It was a note. A note from my best friend. It was a note that she gave me when we graduated in May. Have you ever read something that was so distinct, it captured the essence of the moment it was written? That's how I felt reading this note. It didn't just mention our 13 year friendship. It brought it to the front of my mind. It didn't just remember Father Mele showing us how much Serra made us who we are...it actively made it alive in my mind.

It was on a warm day in May that I walked out of those doors for the last time as a student. I cleaned out my locker and we had plenty of "lasts" (and a few "firsts" - first tailgate party, for one) and we said our goodbyes, knowing full well it was never actually goodbye.

Reading the note again showed me how much Serra made me who I am today. It reminded me how a simple choice I made four years ago gave me the best people I could ever imagine, and led to me being where I am now. Serra, specifically the love and dedication shown by the administration and students, transformed me. And I can already tell the same thing is happening here at SFU. The last year has been a real journey for me, but I know that I'm just getting started. "All of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was...Where do you want to start?" (Doctor Who)

So, Tori, if you read this...I blame you for making me cry in adoration.